Bootstrap Case Family Services Directory

Barnsley Council Logo

Building Stronger Relationships

To return to Family Centres click here 

To return to the homepage click here

Building stronger relationships

Sometimes families may need help from professionals who may use the terms 'Building Stronger Relationships',  or 'Reducing Parental Conflict'.

The following information will help you to maintain a healthy and respectful relationship between you and your partner or ex-partner.
There are lots of places where you can find support. These include through services, Family Centres and through online self-help courses.

What is conflict and who can help?

Bickering, arguments and conflict can be part of everyday life but if it's happening more often, and not getting sorted out then it could be a sign you are experiencing unhealthy conflict. This could lead to problems for your children. 

Find out what healthy and unhealthy behaviours look like below.

Healthy Behaviours

Children usually learn how to solve problems and handle arguments in a healthy way from their parents.

This is what a healthy way to work through arguments might look like:

• Staying calm
• Listening to each other
• Compromising
• Coming to some sort of agreement or agreeing to disagree

Unhealthy Behaviours
Unhealthy conflict between parents (whether they are together or separated) may have a negative effect on children within the family. This is what dealing with conflict negatively might look like:

• Aggression
• Sulking or giving silent treatment
• Walking away
• Not letting the argument go
• Bearing grudges

Unhealthy Conflict or Domestic Abuse?
Unhealthy conflict and domestic abuse are different.

When domestic abuse is involved, one partner is often fearful of the other. The 'perpetrator usually holds the power in the relationship. 

Domestic abuse isn’t just about being violent; it can be:

• Frequently checking your phone
• Withholding money
• Isolating you from family or friends
• Controlling behaviours

If you think you might be a victim of domestic abuse, IDAS can help.

To find out more about IDAS including how to contact them click here.

Putting the children first

There are lots of benefits to letting children see how parents deal with conflict in a positive way. Communicating in a healthy and respectful way with your partner or ex-partner can help children to: 

• Improve their mental health
• Improve their physical health
• Sleep better
• Improve how well they do at school
• Have better relationships with their friends
• Improve their future life chances

But our children are too young to notice our arguments, right?
Wrong. Children as young as six months old can be affected.

Things that can help

Below are some helpful tools and websites.

See It Differently Website
When we argue with our partner or ex-partner, we can get caught up in the heat of the moment. At times like these, it’s difficult to find a way forward. Click here to access the website and see how other parents have changed how they handle conflict

The Listening Room - Click Relationships
A private online chat room where you can talk to a Click listener about your relationship. It’s completely anonymous, and you do not have to give any personal information. Take a look here.

Getting on Better Cards
Use the Getting on Better cards to help you think about your relationship with your partner (whether you are together or separated). They are simple reminders to help you remember what's really important in building our relationships.