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Building Stronger Relationships

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Building stronger relationships

Sometimes families may need help from professionals who may use the terms 'Building Stronger Relationships', 'Strengthening Relationships' or 'Reducing Parental Conflict'.

There is lots of support available through Services, Family Support and through Online Self Help Courses.

What is conflict and who can help?

Bickering, arguments and conflict are part of everyday life but if they are happening more and more often, then it could lead to problems for your children.

Children learn from their parents, and it is helpful for children to see conflict handled positively, to know how to handle conflict positively you need to know about the different types of conflict.

Read about the different types of conflict below.

Helpful Conflict

Let children see how arguments can get sorted out by:

• Staying calm
• Listening to each other
• Compromising
• Coming to some sort of agreement or agreeing to disagree

Harmful conflict
Harmful conflict can lead to problems for children, It could be:

• Physical/verbal aggression
• Sulking or silent treatment
• Walking away
• Not letting the argument go
• Bearing grudges

Harmful Conflict or Domestic Abuse?
Harmful conflict and Domestic abuse are different.

When a relationship experiences harmful conflict, both partners are to blame, and both have a responsibility to repair the relationship.

When domestic abuse is involved, one partner is fearful of the other. The ‘perpetrator’ holds the power in the relationship.

Domestic abuse isn’t just about being violent; it can be:

• Frequently checking your phone
• Withholding money
• Isolating you from family or friends
• Controlling behaviours

If you think you might be a victim of domestic abuse, IDAS can help.

To find out more about IDAS including how to contact them click here.

Putting the children first

There are lots of benefits to letting children see how parents deal with conflict in a positive way;

• Improve their mental health
• Improve their physical health
• Sleep better
• Improve how well they do at school
• Have better relationships with their friends
• Improve their future life chances

But our children are too young to notice our arguments, right?
Wrong. Children as young as six months old can be affected.

Things that can help

Below are some helpful tools and websites.

See It Differently Website
When we argue with our partner or ex-partner, we can get caught up in the heat of the moment. At times like these, it’s difficult to find a way forward. Click here to access the website.

The Listening Room - Click Relationships
A private online chat room where you can talk to a Click listener about your relationship. It’s completely anonymous, and you do not have to give any personal information. Take a look here.

Getting on Better Cards
Use the Getting on Better cards to help you think about your relationship with your partner (whether you are together or separated). They are simple reminders to help you remember what's really important in building our relationships.