Bootstrap Case Barnsley Family Service Directory Family Services Directory

Take a look at the Best Start in Life Website (Opens in New Window)


I am looking for? (Opens in New Window)

Use our AI tool to search our Virtual Family Hub

Become a Family Hub Member Today

Click here to become a family hub member

Programmes and Support for Relationships

To go back to Programmes for Parents and Parents-to-be and Support and Relationships click here

To go back to the Home page click here

When families argue in front of children

When parents argue a lot in front of their children, it can make the children feel sad and worried. Children watch how their parents handle arguments, so it's important for families to talk things through calmly.

This helps children learn good ways to solve problems and get along with other people.



People sometimes argue or fight, and this can happen in everyday life. But if arguments happen often and are not sorted out calmly, it might mean there is unhealthy conflict.

What are Healthy & Unhealthy Behaviours?

These are healthy ways to work through an argument.:
  • Staying calm
  • Listening to each other
  • Compromising
  • Coming to some sort of agreement or agreeing to disagree
  • Unhealthy ways to deal with an argument are:
  • Aggression
  • Sulking or giving silent treatment
  • Walking away
  • Not letting the argument go
  • Holding grudges

Putting the Children First

There are of benefits to letting children see how parent sort out disagreements in a kind and helpful way. If you talk calmly and respectfully with your partner or ex-partner, it can help your child to:


  • Feel better in their mind
  • Be healthier in their body
  • Get better sleep
  • Do well at school
  • Get along better with friends
  • Have more chances to do well in life
You might think your child is too little to notice when people argue, but even babies as young as six months can pick up on it.
Are you worried about how your child is feeling if arguments at home are happening a lot?

You can try the 'In-the-middle' Bot. It is a chatbot that knows about how children feel when their parents argue. With just a few details, and no judgement, you can find out how your child might be feeling.

Have a look at our Teen Hub here for tips on 'How to cope when your parents are arguing', if your teenager wants some help or advice.


Unhealthy Conflict and Domestic Abuse are Different

When domestic abuse is involved, one partner is often fearful of the other. The 'perpetrator usually holds the power in the relationship.


Domestic abuse isn’t just about being violent; it can be:
  • Frequently checking your phone
  • Withholding money
  • Isolating you from family or friends
  • Controlling behaviours
If you think you are experiencing domestic abuse, IDAS can help. To find out more about IDAS including how to contact them click here.

Helpful Tools and Websites

Relate at Family Action
The Relate website has lots of free online resources to help parents or carers handle problems with their partner or co-parent here
Find out if you can access free counselling through Relates National Partnership scheme here.


See It Differently Website
When we argue with our partner or ex-partner, we can get caught up in the heat of the moment. At times like these, it’s difficult to find a way forward. Click here to access the website and see how other parents have changed how they handle conflict.


Getting on Better Cards
Use the Getting on Better cards to help you think about your relationship with your partner (whether you are together or separated).


They are simple reminders to help you remember what's really important in building our relationships.
  • Stages and changes
  • Logs and fire
  • Conflict styles
  • Magic 5 to 1 ratio
  • Communicate better
  • Harmful and helpful
  • Child roles
  • Parent roles 


Building Stronger Relationship resources for professionals

Barnsley's SEND Local Offer

Click here to go to Barnsley's SEND Local Offer.
Find information for children and young people with special educational needs or disabilities.

Family Hub Room Bookings

Click here to book a room within a Family Hub. 

Please read our terms and conditions here

Who can help?

Click here to go to our service quick search

Leaving Care Local Offer for Care Leavers

Visit Barnsley's Local Offer for Care Leavers

Thinking about becoming a Foster Carer?

Click here to find out more.

Great Childhoods Ambition

Explore what’s possible for children, young people and families in Barnsley. 

Barnsley's Great Childhoods Ambition 

Barnsley Children's University

As part of our Great Childhoods Ambition, we've partnered up with the Children’s University Trust to launch the Barnsley Children’s University.

Click here to find out more 

Register a birth

You need to register your baby to get a birth certificate.


Armed Forces Families

Find valuable information and support for our Armed Forces community and families at Armed Forces Barnsley.

Be part of something BIG

Working with small children is a big deal.

It’s a job that makes a difference by helping to give children the best start in life.

Find a job in childcare

ICB Healthier Together Website (Opens in New Window)

Healthy Holidays (Opens in New Window)

Click here for more information and to book Healthy Holidays

Worried about a child? (Opens in New Window)

Help us improve the Virtual Family Hub

Click here to view and complete our new feedback form!!

Neighbouring Family Hubs

If you live outside the Barnsley area, contact your local Family Hub, or Children's Services for details about programs available in your community.

Childcare Providers Only : Provider Portal Login

School Professionals Only : School Access Module (SAM)

Early Help for Professionals Only